How To Step Fully Into Your Greatness
The power of negative self talk and how to step fully into your greatness. You do it, I do it, she does it, everyone does it, but tell me, how often are you really aware of the language that you use to yourself? Yes, we are talking about you and how you speak to yourself, your self talk, more importantly the power of your negative self talk.
Success Story: Jeanie Howard
Hi, my name is Jeani, I live in Somerset UK and I have 4 gorgeous children and a wonderful husband and best friend. I love avocados, almost as much as I love hummus!! I am a martial artist, something I do with my children, which is wonderfully empowering, being able to share the love of karate and competitions with your children, supporting one another. Also, I love being outside, in fact I think I may have been a horse in a past life, because sit me outside in a field, and I am a happy girl!!
I am the founder of Every Chance and the creator of the Infinity flow programme & transforming women into greatness series. As Emotion Alignment Mentor, coach and healer, author and speaker and I specialise in helping women reconnect back to themselves, realign their energy and emotions so that they can step into their greatness, to truly find themselves, their passions and self love so that they can have success in all areas of their life and business.
In this crazy journey of life, I have had the pleasure in helping 1000’s of women and young adolescents to overcome their negative self beliefs, self talk and really step into their power to create a deeper more powerful connection to themselves. But it has not always been this way, and like many women who come into this industry of motivating, inspiring and transforming, it is a drive that has come from my own personal journey of transformation and self discovery.
My personal development journey
My journey into self development started 15 years ago. Tired of feeling the way that I was feeling, I set out to create change. At the time I was living on a cocktail of alcohol and drugs, raving at the weekends when I was not away with the army. I was clinically depressed, battling PTSD and was so deeply lonely. I was in a space of suppression. Suppression the pain and trauma of life happening to me, feeling like a victim and hating myself every day.
I didn’t realise back then about the power of self talk, and I bet you can relate to how badly we can treat ourselves and beat ourselves up verbally without even realising that we are doing it!
Like anyone who steps into self development, I was hooked. I would travel up and down the country every weekend, studying coaching, hypnosis, NLP. I started absorbing all I could of this wonderful new world that I knew would be the magic thing to help me become the happier me I was craving.
What I learned
What did I learn on this journey, I learnt that I was the one bringing myself down!! Yes, I was a victim of abuse and trauma, but I was the one who was beating myself down every moment of every day by the way that I spoke directly to myself.
Now tell me, if you were to speak to someone you love the way you spoke to yourself at times, would they stay and be friends with you? Hmm, gets you thinking doesn’t it?
If this has just landed with you in a massive aha, then great, but don’t beat yourself up about it. I will let you into a secret – it isn’t your fault!!
The foundation of our self-talk
You see, everything that you say to yourself, the words, the put downs, the negativity. It is all a learnt behaviour, and they are learned beliefs. You see, we build the foundation of who we are pre birth to the age of 7. When I say pre-birth, I mean that we actually take on the energy of emotions from our mothers, we take on the generational DNA. If this is not enough to impact you, from birth until around the age of 7 we are actually tuned in. I refer to it as mini sponges, we record and take on everything that is happening around us, good, bad, ugly, it is all recorded and stored within your subconscious memory bank.
This becomes the foundation of who you are you, the lenses through which you see the world around you and the foundation of you to which you grow upon. But, it is not always a positive. We hold onto the experiences, words and moments from our childhood. We take them on as our truths and they each enable us to show up in that truth.
I saw this is myself. I was not good enough, I was stupid, I was not deserving of love. All of these words, these beliefs were my reality. I alway refer to wearing a huge neon sign above my head that said “I am not good enough” because it was my reality. I spoke those words to myself, I beat myself down, always telling myself I was not good enough, and it showed up in everything that I did.
What about you? Do you recognise the repeating words you use to yourself to keep yourself small?
This is the point of building a strong self development foundation, but what I have learnt on my journey is that sometimes, we really do need to dig deeper, self explore and this all starts with awareness.
Awareness is one of the most powerful words available, and is definitely my favourite word, and if you know me, you will have heard this a thousand times or more, but from a place of awareness, we really can step into change.
You see, when you have a stronger practice of awareness, of really recognising the thoughts, words and feelings that you feel daily from your own self, then you can start to make changes.
Your thoughts create your self talk, create your emotions, your feelings. But what was it that triggered that thought? What were you doing? Thinking? Saying?
Then next – where does it come from? Very often I hear people saying “I am stupid”, “I have anxiety because my mum had it”, “I am a failure”
These are preconditioned beliefs and they are usually ‘given’ to at some point in your childhood. Something someone said to you, something you got told off for, the way a parent spoke to you. Usually it is something that has created a shock response, a repeating pattern or copied behaviour.
So for me I had it drilled into me that I was not good enough. “You are not good enough” all the time and everything I did.
Yet, even though this was my reality I was not consciously aware that this was:
- Not true
- Not even mine.
If you think about it, the reason people say these things to us is that they are mimicking their own thoughts and feelings! Their own blueprint of who they are, which most likely came from someone they knew. Crazy isn’t it!
- Have conscious awareness of what you are saying to yourself. Be aware of the feelings, the emotions, this is normally a great start, because we are emotional beings. Recognising when we are not feeling great and then questioning what you just said!
- Write it down. Get yourself a little notebook and for 3 days, write down everything that you say and think to yourself, about yourself. You may start seeing a pattern.
- Challenge – Is this true?
- Reflection – where does this come from? take your time with this, ask yourself the question of where it came from, because your brain will start working to explore where it came from.
- Choose a new reality – How can you frame this? Choose the opposite, something that is empowering and makes you feel great. Write it down and make it your daily mantra.
- Write yourself a mantra of ‘I AM’ positive empowering words to replace what you have previously found and more.
- Read your positive I am statements everyday.
The exercise above is powerful and really helps to reduce anxiety, stress and self devaluation. Really enabling you to step into your greatness because you are not taking those negative beliefs and self talk, but challenging them, changing them and giving yourself positive, empowering, nurturing encouragement through the I am words you use daily.
The power of doing this helps to create new neurons in the brain. Creates more positive energy and makes you feel more connected in positivity and productivity within yourself. You are great, so be great. Step fully into your greatness through nurturing, loving and empowering words of positivity.
This exercise has helped me immensely in really connecting to my self love, to become my own best friend and create a positive parenting practice for my 4 children.
Now know, you are great, so be great. Take back your power learn how to step fully into your greatness today.
Come and share how you get on and how this lifts you.
Universally Aligned Love, Jeani Xx
Jeani Howard is a Guest Expert in Manage Anxiety: The Freedom Formula
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