Everyone has bad days. Sometimes they’re at a stretch, sometimes they aren’t. It can be one day one week, then the next week, it’s three days. Our lives can become so heavy, so full of expectations, work and other things that demand our time that we forget to take time to care for ourselves.
Even when we do take that time, it can still be hard to just get out of bed. I’ve been in therapy for over two years and I still have days in which I barely function. It is very different to explain, but those days happen more than I would like to admit.
I see my therapist once every three weeks (down from weekly, then every two weeks) and use the coping skills that I have learned to get through the rough days. But even so, I still struggle. Why? I have a lot on my mind these days and it just becomes so overwhelming that I just lay in bed, unable to do anything I set out to. I absolutely hate this, but I also realize that this isn’t my whole life, at least not anymore.
I started therapy to grieve the suicide of someone I had become very close to and decide what to do with my marriage, which has since been repaired. The grief process is not an easy one, and some days still stink. While I have been there, I have stopped drinking (almost eleven months as of my writing this post) and put my life back together.
When the days become too much, these are some of the things I recommend to bring yourself back to the world:
Stop. I simply stop and think about what is bothering me. It may take a while to nail down what it is exactly that’s bothering me, because it may be numerous things. Sometimes, it may be nothing at all.
Figure out what you need. Sometimes this means talking it out (something I am still working on) with my husband or a trusted friend. Sometimes this means writing, colouring, or losing myself in music, trashy TV or a funny movie until I feel a bit better and can think somewhat clearer.
Cuddle up with an animal. My boxer pit, Tiger, was the best cuddle buddy ever, but unfortunately, he had to be put to sleep recently. We do, however, have two cats, and one happens to be great at purring and cuddling. It will put you at ease and sleep if you’re lucky. If you don’t have a pet, a stuffed animal, pillows, or another person works.
Take it easy. This means taking it easy on yourself in general. It can be very difficult to do the small things, like taking a bath or shower, eating, etc. Give yourself a time frame to stay in bed if you need that and then try doing something small. Don’t push yourself too hard on these days, that can make you feel worse for the things you weren’t able to accomplish.
Remind yourself that tomorrow is another day and that it can be better. I tell myself this on the bad days to help myself look forward to the next day, it gives me a bit of hope.
Make a coping list or kit. I have a list of coping skills on my phone in case I need a reminder of what works. This may be handy. I don’t have a kit, but I do keep the things I need most around: colouring pencils, colouring books, earbuds for my phone, funny movies, and apps on my phone for meditation. I also have a board on my Pinterest of quotes that I look through. They give me a much-needed boost.
Hopefully, these tips are a way for you to get started on your own journey to self-care and getting through the days that are too much.
About The Author
“Don’t ever be afraid to be yourself” – Jacob Smith