Break Free From Society Beliefs
An inspiring personal story on how to break free from society beliefs to live your best life of happiness, fulfillment and success.
My old life
A few years ago I had no idea who I was and what I wanted to do. I was having an amazing and successful life, or at least what others thought was a successful life. Deep inside I had no idea who I was or what I wanted in life.
I was good in school, I graduated from high school with a good grade and was offered a bachelors degree sponsored by a company. After graduating from this I stayed with the company. I was earning a decent amount of money, had a lot of freedom at work, got my own field of expertise really fast. I even got listed for promotion programs within the company.
But within me, I was so scared not to please people, to the point that I was terrified of answering the question of which kind of music I liked. I was not happy at all. Getting out of bed became harder and harder every day. I remember sitting in my living room every now and then and starting to cry for no reason. I had no idea what was wrong.
There only have been two things I always dreamed of: the first one was to live abroad and later on to leave Germany for good. But it was never more than a dream. The second thing I always felt, was that I am was not living life to my full potential, that I am born for more.
After graduating from university, I finally started working with a life coach. The idea was to find my dream job. But pretty fast I found out, that the problem was that I wasn’t living a life based on my own ideas. My whole life was built on what other people thought was success. I only wanted to make others proud. I never really dealt with myself instead, I went from one relationship to the next.
In the end, I built my whole life based on something that didn’t even have the possibility to make me happy and fulfilled. I was building my life based on the idea of success that society gave me, I wasn’t satisfied or proud of myself at all, I only saw my failure, I always felt like I am was good enough, no matter what others were saying. I didn’t even want to go to my prom, because I thought my grades were not good enough and I was not worthy to go there.
On my lowest point, I was diagnosed with depression. My doctor told me that it seemed as if I have external depression. This means this kind of depression was caused by my environment (job, relationships etc) basically from the life that wasn’t really my own. I think I needed this to realize, that I need to change something. I needed to find myself, my own measurement of success and find who I want to be and what kind of life I want to live.
I left Germany at the end of that year to have a year of working holiday in Canada. I stopped taking anti-depressants and my depression never came back. During the time with my former coach and my time in Canada I got aware of who I am, my values and my strengths. I started to find my own measurement of success.
And I finally realised that I have everything within me to live the life of my dreams. I finally felt that I am enough the way I am. The key things, that brought me to this point was a lot of time to think without being influenced by anyone else. Asking myself deep questions, and get asked challenging questions by my coach.
My current habits
Today I enjoy meditation. I like to sit in nature by myself and exercise a lot. This has really helped me to refocus and get to know myself on a different level.
Gaining new perspective
The second thing that also helped me to get to know myself on a deeper level was getting to know so many new perspectives and people. With gaining new perspectives, I mean seeing how others live and that every kind of lifestyle you can think of is fine. I always just knew the lifestyle from back home. But being with travelers and people who work and live in resorts was a total different perspective. I talked about topics and ideas with people in so many different stages of their life and from people who live in so many different ways, that I never thought was possible. This helped me to dream big for my own life.
Getting out of my comfort zone
I found it helpful to get out of my comfort zone consistently. I worked in housekeeping, I slept in a room with 11 other people, I did a 30 km hike on one day and I coped wood, just to name a few. All of this showed me what I am capable of doing and what I want to do in my life.
Finding strengths and skills
I learned was that I am really good at some things. I learned my strength and skills in a totally different way and even found new ones. For example, when I started in housekeeping my supervisor was impressed that I learned everything so fast. I did the test, which was part of my training after a week and normally it gets done after a few weeks of training, and I passed. Based on this I allowed myself to dream and was able to find my way. It was all about getting to know myself and grow.
I met so many amazing people. And one of them was ME! I found out that I want to have my own coaching company and live a location independent life. Even if some of this realisation hurt a lot, I am so grateful for this clarity.
I know I will hurt my family by leaving them behind. The moment I realised that I want to leave Germany for good I started crying. Sadly it wasn’t happy tears. The first thing that came to my mind was my family. I will spend less time with them than I did in my old life. But leaving will not change the way I love them. I don’t say it is easy to go for your dreams and sometimes it means sacrifices. But for me, the urge to go out in this world and help people to live life as their best selves makes it worth it.
Looking back, these two things have always been within me, lying on the surface. My feeling of the need to live my life to my full potential means travelling and making an impact on other peoples life. I was just not allowing myself to call it more than a dream. I was limited by the ideas I saw what was possible in this world.
Live life as your best self and break free from society beliefs
Now I aim for helping people to gain clarity about who they are and who they want to become. This clarity will enable us to grow to our full potential, which we all have within us. We really should live life as our best selves. This is what I believe, will make us truly happy and fulfilled.
Now I am back in Germany to set everything in a good place to start travelling. Every day I grow more, I develop and I find more things that are me. For me, life is a journey of growth. If I will ever stop growing I will stop living! This life right now makes me happier and more fulfilled than I have ever been before and it hasn’t even really started.
About The Author
Xenia Knapp is 27 years old and coaches people to live their life to their full potential. She comes from living a life based on the ideas of what others think success looks like. Recently, she started her own coaching company and hopes to help many people to life their lives as their best selves and on their own terms.
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