This weeks Success Story is with Irene, she shares how she went from severe anxiety and depression to being an inspirational survivor. Irene shares everything she went through and what she did to come out the other side stronger than she could ever imagine.
Advice is to start a piece of work with a plan then write an introduction, a body and a conclusion. My story does not have a plan. It is written as it is. There is an introduction and a body but no conclusion; here is why.
I am Irene, 43 years old, divorced mum of 2 boys aged 7 and 4. I lived in Northern Ireland for the first half of my life and after moving to England have lived in several places and doing lots of different jobs…..and had lots of unsuccessful relationships. My story begins with the end of the last 43 years.
I met Simon in March 2016 after a string of internet dating encounters. We hit is off straight away but he was married, something I did not find out until it was too late. He left his wife after 6 weeks. Not something I am proud of but also not something I asked him to do. It was a whirlwind romance. Full of passion, love, openness and honesty (or so I thought).
The first 6 months were weekends away, nights out, nights in, time spent with the kids, it all seemed perfect. Then his sister in law messaged me with copies of messages he had sent to his ex begging her to go back with him, that I was a mistake. And so the journey of having a relationship with a narcissist had begun. Although I did not realise this at first, I was too far in by now.
Madly in love with this man who I thought was the man of my dreams and my future husband. He gave me everything I craved for the past 43 years in a relationship-undivided attention, time, love, affection and lots of laughs. But it obvioulsy was not right.
In July of this year, on my birthday, the whole thing went bang! After several incidents of cheating through messages to exes, connecting with one of my friends on Tinder (he had met her once and apparently did not recognise her). Arranging hotels with strangers, me leaving and coming back half an hour later and huge rows.
I had had enough so when his ex rang up about a water bottle for their daughter at 10pm on my birthday I exploded!! I finished with him over a water bottle! It was the last straw of the strangulation he had manipulated me with by using his ex as a weapon against me. But unable to cope without him as he had made me so dependent on him I went back to him a week later.
My weakness was then used against me. He became more cold, unloving and distant. The more he did this, the more desperate I became for him. We called it a day but the messages continued. He packed up all my things at his house and I had to collect them. I was a mess by now begging him to take me back but he just ignored me which deepened my pain further.
Suffering with severe anxiety and depression which had been building up for months. I was already on antidepressants and had almost come off them but went back onto my highest dose ever. And I frequently had suicidal thoughts. I couldn’t conentrate, I cried ALL the time, couldn’t go to work, could barely look after my kids never mind myself. I was a shell of my previous confident self.
It all ended in September on a weekend away we annually went to with all our friends. I told him I was fighting to get him back on this weekend and if he left without me on the Monday that it must be with no regrets as I was not coming back. He left me, and to boot slept with someone else that weekend. It was the most awful week I had ever experienced.
Then I don’t remember how (probably my realisation that he was a narcissist and I had been researching it) my life coach came into my life via an advert on Facebook. Dana had experience of women in abusive relationships so immediately struck a cord with me. I rang her for a 30 minute discovery call through all of which I cried. We decided no contact with him from that day and to get back to her if I wanted to start working with her. I started coaching the following week. Since I had nothing to lose with being suicidal and so low. I had to do it for my kids if no one else.
That call changed my life and has mapped out my future. Through Dana I discovered The Secret and the Law of Attraction, meaning that like attracts like. I was attracting all this drama into my life and it needed to go-I needed to flip the switch and take action. Started reading books like they were breakfasts starting with Psycopath Free. I could have written it my story featured in that many pages!!
Then the Miracle Morning book entered my life. Boom! The structure I needed and I started following it every morning. I was never a morning person but wow I am now. I get up at 5.45am every morning to follow the process and it really sets me up for the day ahead. Committed, I followed every word Dana said, every bit of advice was digested, tried and tested, and I looked at my life in a massive way.
I had been having counselling with a psychotherapist but it was too much dwelling on the past-I needed to focus on a future. Life coaching gave me that. I started journaling. Mind dumping my thoughts works so well, along with daily gratitude encouraging me to appreciate what I have in my life every day. I have discovered writing is something I really enjoy!
I set goals, goals which I thought I would never meet. Got a cleaner and cut my hours at work so I could have more time with the kids. I started dating again. Was weaned off antidepressants and now take none. I developed a wonderful relationship with my kids implementing some of the Miracle Morning techniques with them. I saw changes in their confidence along with my own. Now whether this was because mummy was getting better or not I do not know but it was working.
I had a lightbulb moment during my coaching where things changed for me. I thought, I could do this, I could be a coach too! Now I am organising my own business to prevent kids living 43 years of their lives like me.
In 4 months I have changed my entire life and my outlook is future based now. I am so excited for what I can achieve and I hope by writing this I can inspire others to now there is light at the end of the tunnel. My belief is strong in the Law of Attraction and that like attracts like. I have a list of ever growing goals which I am achieving all the time. My kids are happy and confident now being led by a new mummy who is a better influence on their lives. Now I am not a victim of domestic abuse-I am a survivor. That is why there is no conclusion to my story-this is just the beginning.
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